Most days I manage to get by with a smile and pretend as if nothing is wrong. But lately it’s getting harder and harder to pretend. I have this feeling inside of me that never goes away. That feeling….failure. For three years I have managed to some how get by in raising my children on my own. A preteen, an almost preteen and a trouble maker. They’re amazing children but I wont try to lie and say it’s easy.

I made a decision a few weeks ago regarding my relationship and I struggle with it. It was the right thing to do but my heart hurts. I lead with my heart and not my brain and this decision was made with my brain. I tried to do the right thing but that doesn’t make it any easier. I have love and support from friends but I am still left alone and confused.

My oldest is going through changes he refuses to talk to me about. I’m his mom so I get it but he has no one to talk to. He holds his feelings inside and I can see the struggle sometimes. He wont admit it he will just lash out. I recognize it because I do the same.

My daughter, bless her heart (I’m turning into an Okie) she deals with anxiety and depression and it pains her. What pains her pains me. I have tried everything to help her but I am a source of her problems. I know this. I am also a trigger for her.

My youngest has a heart like no one. It’s soft, and sweet and kind but he’s trouble in a hand basket at the same time. He wants to be included and he wants to do what he wants. His individuality is amazing but he acts out most of the time. Discipline doesn’t work because he has very little care for anything. He doesn’t hold one thing above anything else.

I love my children with all my heart and soul but I feel like I fail them on a daily basis. I work full time to provide for them but they hold it against me. I come home and most days I am to tired to cook dinner. So we do quick meals and they’re not what a family dinner should be. I work on my computer when I get home and on weekends to bring in some additional income. It’s not much but any little bit helps as they say. Weekends should be spent doing things as a family but they’ve turned into my cleaning days. When I clean I get angry. I am angry because I am the only one that cleans. In my marriage I was the soft one, my ex was the disciplinarian. This now has come back to me being the disciplinarian and well, it’s not my forte. The kids don’t respect me and don’t listen. So I clean the whole house, by myself.

This has been our life for three years. I don’t like it. They don’t like it. But I have no resolve. As long as I have no respect from my children it will continue like this. Each day I break emotionally and physically. This post is not meant for pitty, like my son I hold my feelings in, but I know I have to speak out. I risk attacks letting me know I have failed, or they may be words of encouragement. Either way no more holding it in. This is me…broken.

This is a sponsored post. I received the same gift pack offered in the giveaway.

I walk in the door after working all day, looking forward to seeing my three beautiful children and awaiting their “yay, Mommy’s home”. What happens is slightly different. While I do get the happy cheers of me entering the front door I am immediately barraged with questions of “can I have a snack”, “can I have this” “why do I have to do my homework now”, “can I play on the computer”, “can I play the Wii”. My favorite is “What’s for dinner”. Queue Jeopardy music at this question. I look at three sets of huge brown eyes and stare back blankly. My answer is almost always the same…..I don’t know.

There has to be an easier way to combat the daily four pm freak out that us moms experience. I’ve tried planning ahead, I really have, but I consistently fail. My go to is simple meals. While I do love me some simple meals, it tends to get repetitive and well, boring. I’m sure my kids feel the same way I do about it. I mean who really likes getting stuck in a rut? I don’t know anyone that does.

One meal that I have found that while it me be a “simple” meal it is one that can be recreated in a hundred different ways. I’m talking about Spaghetti. The possibilities are limitless, and it’s one of those meals that you can effortlessly elevate with the addition of just one ingredient. That ingredient for this particular days meal was Mezzetta Kalamata Olives. Everyone in this house is an olive fan so when I decide to chop a few handfuls up and throw them into my spaghetti I get ohhh’s and ahhh’s from everyone. It’s a nice little surprise flavor to break up the monotony, and when everyone devours their plates mama is happy.

Another idea is to serve an olive and cheese platter while dinner is cooking. The upside, you can not go wrong with olives and cheese. The downside, when they’re all gone it is truly a sad moment. Like the picture above? All that deliciousness? Yeah it’s gone. I think I may have a few Kalamata olives left but those gigantic garlic stuffed olives are finito. They were amazing. No one could stop eating them.

Mezzetta is on a mission to help moms out and alleviate the daily stress of worrying what is for dinner, and to enjoy family time. You can check out some delicious recipe ideas on their site to help you on your way. Want a chance to win a delicious prize pack filled with Mezzetta products (pictured above) so you can start planning how to cure your #4PMFreakOut….enter the widget below.

I swear it just became 2015 the other day.  But when I look at the calendar I am reminded we are four months in, my kids only have two months left of school and summer is almost upon us. Life has been so busy it’s almost as if it is completely passing me by. How does this happen? I remember my mom telling me when I was younger, “just stop and enjoy the moment sweetie because before you know it years will go by in the blink of an eye and you will look back and wonder what happened”. Touche mom.

So what have we been up to this year? What have we not been up to. The kids I think can officially call themselves traveling pros. Flying standby and not making it on flights doesn’t seem to faze them as it once did. They’re getting better at just going with the flow which makes things a whole lot easier! They’ve all been doing good in school for the most part. My youngest got kid of the month award. :::Enter shock and awe here::: To bad he ended up with the chicken pox and had to miss the ceremony!

My daughter had tube surgery the other month. I had tubes when I was younger, my oldest had tubes when he was younger so this wasn’t new for me but for her it was quite nerve-racking. I give her credit though, she did great despite being utterly terrified.

We got our first storm of the season last week and well done Oklahoma. You never disappoint with your crazy weather. Thankfully the kids were over at my ex husbands house as a precaution since he has a storm shelter and my house does not. I ended up taking in a mom and her three children that night. She was driving around trying to get to her aunts house who wasn’t home and was panicking over the weather. As soon as I heard her choke up when saying she has her three kids and is looking for shelter I told her to come inside. I can’t turn down someone who is fearful for herself and her children. I would only hope someone would do the same for me if I was stuck out in weather with my babies.

And that’s what we’ve been up to the last four months. One more month and my baby will be seven, holy frack! There’s another holy frack moment.  Geez, I seem to have a lot of those lately. Well I’m off to enjoy my weekend with my heathens.

It has been WAY too long since I have done a Sunset Sunday post. Heck, it’s been even longer since I’ve actually pulled my camera out and just…explored. But I was able to do just that last weekend while in Tulsa and man have I really missed it. It felt so good to just get out there and enjoy the beauty all around me. Went on a nice long walk down the river and back, and then across the bridge. Sometimes your just have to slow down and enjoy what nature has to offer.

If you’re ever in or around the Tulsa area and looking to take a nice walk with beautiful scenery I recommend visiting Riverside Drive to walk down the River Park area.

I can’t wait to pick up my camera more often and get back out and explore!

Our prayers were answered and our baby girl was brought back to us! We couldn’t be happier to have her home.

In just a few short weeks Disney’s newest adventure film FROZEN will hit theaters nationwide! I for one am super excited to see another female prominent cast from Disney, especially since the last one that came out (BRAVE) was such a huge success with our entire family. Below I have a few printables that you can print out for your little’s. We’ve got ours printed out and put together to make little books out of them. These are great for keeping little minds busy and entertained.

Walt Disney Animation Studios, the studio behind “Tangled” and “Wreck-It Ralph,” presents “Frozen,” a stunning big-screen comedy adventure. Fearless optimist Anna (voice of Kristen Bell) sets off on an epic journey—teaming up with rugged mountain man Kristoff (voice of Jonathan Groff) and his loyal reindeer Sven—to find her sister Elsa (voice of Idina Menzel), whose icy powers have trapped the kingdom of Arendelle in eternal winter. Encountering Everest-like conditions, mystical trolls and a hilarious snowman named Olaf (voice of Josh Gad), Anna and Kristoff battle the elements in a race to save the kingdom. The film is directed by Chris Buck (“Tarzan,” “Surf’s Up”) and Jennifer Lee (screenwriter, “Wreck-It Ralph”), and produced by Peter Del Vecho (“Winnie the Pooh,” “The Princess and the Frog”). Featuring music from Tony® winner Robert Lopez (“The Book of Mormon,” “Avenue Q”) and Kristen Anderson-Lopez (“In Transit”), “Frozen” is in theaters in 3D on November 27, 2013. For more information, check out Disney.com/Frozen, like us on Facebook: facebook.com/DisneyFrozen and follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/DisneyAnimation.
 

AND just in case you haven’t seen the official trailer yet (where have you been man!) you can watch it right now. I dare you not to laugh.

Make sure to download full quality images by clicking on the link below the preview, not the actual preview.

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Like FROZEN on Facebook, Follow FROZEN on Twitter,  and the official website here. FROZEN opens in theaters everywhere on November 27th!