It’s getting harder and harder

For me to get into the holiday spirit. I have been trying so hard for the kids sake but every time Jr says to me “only ____ more days until Christmas Mom” it just breaks my heart. I do not have a single gift for my kids. We have been barely scrapping by the passed couple months. And with barely having things to make it through paycheck to paycheck we haven’t been able to put aside anything for the kids for the holidays. Holiday time is especially hard for us because my side of the family is Jewish so we celebrate Hanukkah also, which has eight nights of lighting the candles and the kids traditionally open a present each night after saying the prayer. We didn’t have presents for them for Hanukkah this year either.
I know the holidays have turned into about giving gifts and I hate that. We’ve never been big gift givers and we try to teach the kids the true meanings of the holidays but it’s still very hard on me thinking of Christmas morning with no presents.